Something about me that I'm NOT proud of - for as long as I can remember, I haven't been able to grow my fingernails very long because I've always picked at them. For the past few years, it's always been when I'm nervous or anxious about something, but unfortunately those kinds of situations come up an awful lot and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop. It was a reflex and I just couldn't help it.
But a few weeks ago, I was attempting to study at the kitchen table in our apartment and I looked at my nails and I was floored at how horrible they looked. Like, really bad. And this sounds silly and trivial, but if I ever meet a boy and we ever decide to get married, I would be ashamed to wear an expensive engagement ring, drawing attention to my ugly fingers. Plus, I'm so jealous of the girls wearing cute, trendy nail polish colors!
So I decided to stop, right then and there. The next morning in my logic class, I don't think I was nervous about anything, but I could not stop thinking about my challenge to myself, and it made the tips of my fingers almost itch! It was so hard to resist but I knew I had to suck it up!
Tomorrow will be three weeks since I stopped and I feel like this is it. I've stopped for good. My fingernails are growing and they look good! I plan to buy some drugstore nail polish soon to do a DIY manicure for kicks. I'm so proud of myself! I know that's kind of sad but I really, really am. I'll now feel a lot less self-conscious when I shake someone's hand and to me that's worth it.
Another weird habit that I'm not exactly proud of but whatever - I play with my bellybutton a lot. Sadly, a habit that used to just happen by myself or around my parents is happening in public! I'm sneaky about it I think and it's pretty rare but still. I think this habit has increased since I stopped picking at my fingernails so I guess it's a trade-off!(?)
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